How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?
We are honoured to have Ush Dhanak talk to us about “Why we will need Emotional Intelligence in the Future Of Work” on Friday 28 July in Sydney.
Emotional intelligence has helped businesses explain why some of their best performing staff and leaders don’t necessarily have the best academic qualification or professional skills.
But many leaders are still confused by emotional intelligence and its importance to the workplace. They are asking:
“How do I know if I am emotionally intelligent?”
“How can I measure it in myself and what do I look for in others?”
In order to answer these questions, it helps to first understand the main traits of emotional intelligence. Once you know these, you can start looking for them in yourself and others and assess how you measure up. You can then take steps to improve those that you are weakest on, if you want to raise your EQ.
Below, Ush Dhanak identifies 15 initial questions you can ask yourself to self-assess your level of emotional intelligence:
- Do you have the
ability to listen to others?
Blindly
ploughing your own course with no regard for others is no sign of EQ! Instead,
emotionally intelligent people are able to listen and take in the thoughts,
feelings, and opinions of others. They actively seek these out and are able to
process them without judgement.
ploughing your own course with no regard for others is no sign of EQ! Instead,
emotionally intelligent people are able to listen and take in the thoughts,
feelings, and opinions of others. They actively seek these out and are able to
process them without judgement.
- Can you identify and
express emotions?
We all experience a multitude of emotions – but
people with EQ recognise what these emotions are and are able to label them and express what they are. Labelling emotions has the effect of diminishing
their intensity and creating clarity – which can lead to better decision-making
in the workplace.
people with EQ recognise what these emotions are and are able to label them and express what they are. Labelling emotions has the effect of diminishing
their intensity and creating clarity – which can lead to better decision-making
in the workplace.
- Are you curious about
others?
Because
you have the ability to empathise with others, you are also curious about them,
if you have high emotional intelligence. This connects with the first above:
you listen and care about the responses of others – which makes you curious
about what they’re going through.
you have the ability to empathise with others, you are also curious about them,
if you have high emotional intelligence. This connects with the first above:
you listen and care about the responses of others – which makes you curious
about what they’re going through.
- How self-aware are
you?
People
with EQ are comfortable in their skin. They know what they’re good at and what
they’re not so good at. They certainly don’t think or act like they are the
best at everything. They are also
better able to handle situations when their weaknesses may be exposed – because
they are prepared for them.
with EQ are comfortable in their skin. They know what they’re good at and what
they’re not so good at. They certainly don’t think or act like they are the
best at everything. They are also
better able to handle situations when their weaknesses may be exposed – because
they are prepared for them.
- Do you display confidence?
Because
of high self-awareness, emotionally intelligent people have a confidence about
them – but not excessive or misplaced confidence. It comes across as an air of
authority and balance.
of high self-awareness, emotionally intelligent people have a confidence about
them – but not excessive or misplaced confidence. It comes across as an air of
authority and balance.
- Do you view change as
threat or opportunity?
Emotionally
intelligent people don’t feel threatened by change; because they are
comfortable, aware, prepared, and confident in their abilities, they are
flexible enough to approach change as an opportunity. They can help others to
see it positively too: partly for this reason, high EQ points to strong
leadership qualities.
intelligent people don’t feel threatened by change; because they are
comfortable, aware, prepared, and confident in their abilities, they are
flexible enough to approach change as an opportunity. They can help others to
see it positively too: partly for this reason, high EQ points to strong
leadership qualities.
- Are you easily upset –
or unruffable?
People
with EQ are thick-skinned and can take a joke; that of course doesn’t mean that
they are immune to emotion – they are just not offended easily or over-sensitive
to criticism and can control their emotions. The balance and confidence that
they exhibit makes them seem more ‘unruffable’ than most.
with EQ are thick-skinned and can take a joke; that of course doesn’t mean that
they are immune to emotion – they are just not offended easily or over-sensitive
to criticism and can control their emotions. The balance and confidence that
they exhibit makes them seem more ‘unruffable’ than most.
- Do you build strong
relationships?
Another
trait is the ability to build strong, lasting relationships. Emotionally
intelligent people don’t waste time with partnerships that won’t bear fruit;
instead, they focus on working on the relationships that do matter.
trait is the ability to build strong, lasting relationships. Emotionally
intelligent people don’t waste time with partnerships that won’t bear fruit;
instead, they focus on working on the relationships that do matter.
- Are you good at
finding compromises?
Every
social situation has people we don’t get along with. The difference with
emotionally intelligent people is that they don’t get angry, irritated, or
frustrated by them. Instead, they are able to recognise emotions brewing up and
to then rise above them. This makes them better able to see the other person’s
point of view and more likely to find a compromise.
social situation has people we don’t get along with. The difference with
emotionally intelligent people is that they don’t get angry, irritated, or
frustrated by them. Instead, they are able to recognise emotions brewing up and
to then rise above them. This makes them better able to see the other person’s
point of view and more likely to find a compromise.
- Are you a good judge of
character?
Being
aware of your own traits and emotions also helps you see qualities in others.
This can make you a better judge of character. You are able to scratch the
surface and to see what really lies beneath with other people: a very useful
skill when you’re a leader hiring employees, for instance.
aware of your own traits and emotions also helps you see qualities in others.
This can make you a better judge of character. You are able to scratch the
surface and to see what really lies beneath with other people: a very useful
skill when you’re a leader hiring employees, for instance.
- Do you find the
positives in all situations?
Emotionally
intelligent people are able to get over mistakes, negative experiences, and
setbacks more easily than others. They see things positively and realise that
most events in life are learning experiences; so they pick themselves up and
get on with it. This also makes them more likely to take calculated risks –
because they are less fearful of making mistakes.
intelligent people are able to get over mistakes, negative experiences, and
setbacks more easily than others. They see things positively and realise that
most events in life are learning experiences; so they pick themselves up and
get on with it. This also makes them more likely to take calculated risks –
because they are less fearful of making mistakes.
- Can you say NO?
People
with EQ know where to draw the line and realise that saying ‘yes’ to things
actually means saying ‘no’ to other things (which may be more important). They
are clear about priorities and so are not scared to say ‘no’ when necessary.
This avoids the stress associated with agreeing to things just to please
others.
with EQ know where to draw the line and realise that saying ‘yes’ to things
actually means saying ‘no’ to other things (which may be more important). They
are clear about priorities and so are not scared to say ‘no’ when necessary.
This avoids the stress associated with agreeing to things just to please
others.
- Do you know when to
disconnect?
Emotionally
intelligent people may often be hard-working leaders – but they also know when
to switch off and disconnect from the working world. They know that family
time, rest, and ME time is important to their wellbeing and they will make time
for it. They have work-life balance.
intelligent people may often be hard-working leaders – but they also know when
to switch off and disconnect from the working world. They know that family
time, rest, and ME time is important to their wellbeing and they will make time
for it. They have work-life balance.
- Are you usually in a
good mood?
You’ll
usually find emotionally intelligent people in a good mood and pleasant to be
around; they don’t get too stressed and seem generally content with life. This
is because deep-down they are in a ‘good place’ and the day-to-day stresses
don’t get to them too much.
usually find emotionally intelligent people in a good mood and pleasant to be
around; they don’t get too stressed and seem generally content with life. This
is because deep-down they are in a ‘good place’ and the day-to-day stresses
don’t get to them too much.
- Do you trash talk?
Finally,
you won’t find people with a high EQ talking people down; they avoid negative
conversations about others and don’t indulge in gossip. They implicitly know
that focusing on the negative actions of other also brings your own energy down
– so they prefer to focus on the positives.
you won’t find people with a high EQ talking people down; they avoid negative
conversations about others and don’t indulge in gossip. They implicitly know
that focusing on the negative actions of other also brings your own energy down
– so they prefer to focus on the positives.
Hopefully the above questions help you get clearer
on the attributes of emotional intelligence. Apart from these observational
measurements, there are validated tests you can take that will provide an
indication of your level of emotional intelligence.
on the attributes of emotional intelligence. Apart from these observational
measurements, there are validated tests you can take that will provide an
indication of your level of emotional intelligence.
Want to assess emotional intelligence in your workplace? Or measure your
own EQ?
own EQ?
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